Movie Review: Poolman

 

Michael’s Movie Grade: F

Chris Pine’s directorial debut is an embarrassment to everyone involved. 

There are bad movies and then there are movies that leave you in shock of just how bad there are. This film is completely the latter. This movie may be advertised as a comedy but not only does the humor fall flat but you are left scratching your head wondering how it is supposed to be funny. The majority of the humor comes from the characters being self-centered and idiotic beyond the level of believability. The main problem though is that that is the extent of much the humor. The jokes don’t just revolve around these character traits, these character traits are the jokes themselves. The little bit of humor that doesn’t come from this is equally bad. There are a few “funny” moments that come from simply being strange to be strange. The main character has dreams that involve a talking lizard and a tree, and this is supposed to be a major running gag. The film also tries to be a takeoff of Chinatown. However, it does not parody Chinatown or make any astute points about that movie. Instead, it just has characters mention that movie and that there are some minor plot similarities. Acknowledging that Chinatown exists is simply not funny in and of itself. 

It is hard to say what is worse, when this movie tries to be a silly comedy or when it wants you to take it somewhat seriously. The characters are hard to care about at all, yet this film expects you to feel a certain amount of sympathy for them. The plot itself is a complete mess and doesn't even make enough sense for a silly comedy. Yet even with being a comedy this film views its mystery as if it was clever, something that it never is. 

This is simply painful to watch.